An effort in dating

So here’s the deal…dating requires a lot of effort.  Especially nowadays.  No longer can you go to the grocery store and meet the man of your dreams (actually did that ever really happen?!)

Now you have to perfectly craft an online profile.  Select your photos so they show not only that you aren’t a troll but that demonstrate you at your essence.  And we all know that online dating isn’t enough – so we adopt hobbies, and do new things where we can meet new people.  We open ourselves to every opportunity to meet someone.  We go out on first “dates” to meet people when really all we want is to be on our couch in flannel PJs pants with no make up and a glass of wine.

But then by some freak accident, we meet a guy who presents himself as everything we want.  First date turns into a second, then third.  A couple weeks turns into a month, then a few months.  Comments are made about future plans.  There is that small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe this is the one.

Then schedules get crazy.  Maybe you have family commitments, or work gets crazy, maybe travel makes it hard.  Texts are exchanged, maybe a phone call or email.  Then randomly they go MIA…no warning, no reason. You just don’t hear from them anymore.  At first you make excuses for them.  They are busy, it’s only been a day, then 2 or 3.  By a week, then it becomes irritating.

If the effort isn’t there, you have nothing.  If someone doesn’t want to put effort into getting to know you, into spending time with you, they aren’t and can’t be your person.  You can make every excuse in the world but you’ll never be happy if your effort isn’t matched by your partner’s. Sometimes it’s tough to stand up for yourself.  BUT if you don’t stand up and demand the treatment you are worth, then no one else will ever have a reason to believe that you are worth more than the  bare minimum they get away with.  And in case you didn’t know…you are worth more than all the money and gems in the world.


don't take shit