The Man You Should Marry

Modern Belle LIfe The Man You Should Marry

A couple nights ago I was treated to a talk from one of my favorite speakers.  He is a former NFL player and former Navy SEAL and seriously just one of the coolest guys I know.  Listening to him talk about his wife seriously makes you smile.  After 18 years, he still refers to his wife as his bride.  He says it’s because it’s his way of telling her and everyone else that he would marry her again today if he could.

Anyway, his talk mentioned the type of man that he wants to marry his daughters.  He said he has narrowed down the qualities of the man that marry his daughters to the 4 P’s.  Being a single girl, I have to admit my ears perked up and I thought, “okay, this might be worth hearing”, because if I can cut down the relationship checklist down to 4 qualities, well that’s what we call a win!  So without further adieu…

Modern Belle Life, 4 P/s of My Future Husband, PurposefulHe will be purposeful.  I love this statement.   Everyone has a purpose of course but does everyone pursue or recognize their purpose?  No, of course not. Some float through life with little recognition of anything beyond themselves.   Something interesting, however, was his explanation for a purposeful life.  There are books for days about finding your purpose.  But I’ve never heard an explanation so simplistic.  He said that people that are purposeful are able to answer their “why”.  The why being – why do I exist?  For each individual that is different because God makes us all unique people with different strengths, weaknesses, talents, and experiences.  Some are meant to be warriors, some teachers.  Others are meant to have a family of their own and be a parent.   If a man doesn’t know his “why” then how can he be working towards his ultimate purpose life?

Modern Belle Life 4 P's of My Future Husband, Passionate

He will be passionate.  This isn’t about the being physically passionate.  Not to say that kind of passion is bad…I personally am a big fan.  However, a man who is passionate about his life  and things in it is someone that will keep things exciting and interesting for you as the years go on.  Have you ever heard someone talking about something they are passionate about?  Sometimes it’s a hobby, sometimes it’s a person…but listening to someone talk about their passions- you can watch them come alive.  They get more animated.  You can see their excitement.  A man who is passionate about his hobbies, work, life,  and you…that’s the man that 20, 30, 50 years down the road will still make you blush like a teenage girl and will continue to challenge you and himself.

Modern Belle Life 4 P's of My Future Husband ProtectiveHe will be protective.  I’m going back to the gender roles here which yes…I know…so old school. A good man we won’t be protective just of you physically.  He will protect your heart too.  A friend of mine recently had some things going on, her man was so upset of the emotional toll that the situation was having on her.  He stayed out of the issue to allow my friend to handle as she wanted, but he wanted so badly to go to the person causing the problems and straighten them out. Of course, a man should keep his woman safe, but sometimes keeping her safe is about the small gestures. Simple things like walking on the outside of the sidewalk, or in front or beside a woman as she goes downstairs in case she loses her balance so you can steady her if needed are ways a man can keep her safe and to show he really wants to take care of her.

Modern Belle Life 4 P's of My Future Husband ProviderHe will be a provider.   This is another thing that potential could sound old school.  But let’s think about it for a moment, what all can a man provide a woman other than a financial partnership in a marriage?  Well, there’s support, love, encouragement, help, security, assistance in the home, a head of the family.  (Traditionally men are referred to as the head of the family while the woman is referred to as the heart.  To me this makes sense in a lot of ways because of our natural predisposition to particular strengths as men and women, but I will concede that there are men and women in relationships that function differently and have wonderful relationships).  A man should want to provide a woman anything she needs or wants.  If he has found a good woman, those things won’t be based around materials goods but rather emotional and spiritual needs. The other stuff will be icing on the cake.

So there you have it, the man you should marry in 4 simple words.  Why go through the whole checklist if he doesn’t have these 4 basic qualities?  So yeah, who knew a big, bad NAVY Seal was going to reshape my dating life?


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6 comments on “The Man You Should Marry

  1. After my divorce I often wondered what went wrong and if I were to marry again, what would I look for in a man?! This list has definitely given me some inspiration. When it comes down to it, they really are the most important things aren’t they?! #anythinggoes x

    • It is a really great list. When I look at my parents, married friends and other couples around me, the ones that I really am envious of and would love to mirror my own relationships after, the men all possess these qualities. Good starting point for evaluating guys.

  2. I actually agree with all of these. Even the old school provider one It doesn’t necessarily mean it HAS to be financially either. Providing to me can mean so many things. I am in a relationship now that is lacking the emotional aspect I need. Anyway great essay, and thanks for sharing!

    • Glad you enjoyed Gizelle. I hope you are able to find the a way to make your relationship be what you need it to be.

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